You Were So Brave...
This blog post will be written as if to Martin…
You always taught me that when you commit to something, you do it 100%. Even when you’re tired, even when you want to quit, you just do it - because it needs to get done and at some point you said you would. So I realize I would be letting you down if I didn’t carry your blog forward. You have higher expectations than quitting or finding excuses, so even if what I drop on a page is mindless thoughts - I’m committing to them.
Tonight Nitty, I want to highlight the picture I took of you in the hospital, in your hoodie, and was later used and seen by so many people. Yes, you’re bald at the time it was taken, and truth be told I think we eventually transitioned to the bathroom after it, but I felt in that moment like it captured a side of you that rang so true with me. Not only when it was taken, but the entire time I knew you.
What did I see in the picture and why did I take it? Because you looked like such a brave man. Brave.
You were (are) brave. You would say strong, I’ll say brave. To me, strength is the ability to carry on as we face adversity. I think strength is physical, emotional, mental. Everyone has a strength, just not the same amounts of strength.
Bravery, I believe few of us have. To me, bravery is anticipating an unknown result or ending, and STILL having the relentless attitude to go forward.
The way you viewed your fight with cancer. You gave it all you got, you “man’d up” and went forward fearless of the outcome. The picture of you in the hoodie was taken about 3 weeks I’d say before you left this earth. I don’t see fear in your eyes. I see the bravery of a strong young man going forward because what other options were there? Plus, you’re not a quitter, so why look sad?
You had a trait that not many have, bravery is something that people only wish they had. Those who play it safe, those who are hesitant, those who hide in the shadows because, well, it’s safe. I’m sure those types of people wish for and admire your bravery. So you’re sharing your strength and bravery with them. Inspiring people to become better versions of themselves.
There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of you, and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t admire everything about you.
Tonight, I admire your bravery.