You Were Enough.

Martin, 


My biggest fear, was (and is) that the evil of the world would ever get to you. I believe the word has a lot of good, it really does and occasionally you see those bright spots. You however always saw the good, you always let the bad just be water under the bridge. We live in a very brutally honest and evil world. Just putting that out there.


I don’t think there was ever a time in your life that you were told by your parents that you weren’t enough. Maybe, a part of the world would have looked and said that. So when we had our final days together, I wanted to make sure you heard it from me, that no matter what - you were enough. 


Did you have what the world perceived as challenges? Sure - but don’t we all? Of course we do! 


Martin, your attitude and perspective shined bright, and when that didn't work - you smiled your way through it. Just because you got sick, got weak, fell victim to a terrible (yet common) disease... YOU were enough.


One of my favorite quotes (coined by me!) is that "There's beauty in imperfection". Maybe that's something you taught me... In my eyes, in mom's eyes, the only eyes that mattered - you were perfect and all that we ever wanted - all we ever needed.


To Be Happy.


I write this for the audience that might have self doubt. The fat man, the tall girl, the alcoholic, the homeless person, the perfectionist, the anorexic. For the audience that is needing to hear that something about them is spectacular. Something about them makes them stand out and they contribute to the world a piece of their shine. This world wouldn't be the world without you...


I ALWAYS knew Martin was remarkable, heck, it’s what got me hooked on him from day 1. I knew that small handful (5 ish...) people knew that as well. I never knew that once in the spotlight as he was, the rest of the world would know as well. He was received with such respect, such adoration. We received so many inbox messages saying how he inspired, so many comments saying such nice things. It was refreshing, because we poured our souls into loving him, and for him to leave the world with TONS of people loving him too, felt good. 


It felt good to be approved of. 


My biggest flaw might be my defensiveness. Always has been, and just might always be. I take things personal, I think the world is about me and I think that someone or something is always out to get me. It’s what’s led me to operate the way I have. 


Would I feel this way if I was told daily that I was good enough? 


I know for a fact I showed him that daily. I don’t know if I told him it though. That message can carry such weight, in a positive way. 


I urge those reading this, to reach out to someone and let them know what they mean to you. Something as simple as “You Are Enough” could go a long way. I urge those reading to also learn to accept compliments better. Don't shy away when someone says something nice - they just might mean it.


Voice it before it’s too late. Another lesson I learned from Martin... 



#NittyStrong 

Martin HoweComment